Zane_thor

I grabbed the basketball from 9 year old. Towering over him I jump for the basket. Two points. I look down to see that the one 9 year old scout has multiplied into two 9 year old scouts. One of them shouts at the top of his lungs us against you. “Ok” I thought this should be a breeze.

I grab the ball for a free throw and miss. I look down again the two nine year old turn into 8 children of varying ages. They get the ball and run a muck. My job is to stay under the hoop until they miss and then take the ball up again for my point. One of the younger kids throws up the ball and I pull down the rebound like Dennis Rodman at the NBA finals. Except when I go to take the ball out the 8 kids turns into 15 kids. All of them hanging on me like I’m the big bad wolf that must be stopped at all cost. As I try to make my way to the three point line to clear the ball my legs are tied up by 1 three year old, 2 first graders, and a partridge in a pare tree. I fall like a redwood in the California forest. Ok this is no good we need teams.

We split up into team. My son, his friend, my daughter and me stand all. All includes a 14 year old boy and like 5 cub scouts, three little sisters and a screaming banshee. It was quick game but my team passing game was the bomb. We hit three points before the other team knew what hit them. Then the moms broke up the pack meeting and we had to go home.

MOMS SUCK….. Love ya hon

Zane Thor

Friday after work, I came home excited to face a new weekend with my family. I joked jovially with my wife and kids. I was feeling really good. The kids sensing my mode to play started to play around me, hanging on to my legs, running into me, jumping on me like I was a new set of monkey bars at the school yard. It was really fun.

After dinner my wife put a CD with old 90’s songs in the player. It was a dance festival in our living room. Our five speaker surround sound was put to it‘s test. I don‘t think we ever had the system that loud for any movie we ever watched. Yet, here we were blasting out our sub‘s dancing in the living room. My youngest daughter at age 4 reminded me what the Tahitian dances should look like. She stuck out her cute little butt and shook it side to side so fast. I couldn‘t help but laugh. It was so adorable.

My older Daughter has had some dance training so she was looking way funnier. At first I thought she was doing her impression of Elaine from Sienfeld. She clapped her hands and jerked her head back while at the same time kicking her foot forward. I looked at my wife, she looked at me and at the same time we started to laugh. My daughter was encouraged by the fact that she was getting attention so then she planted her feet clapped her hands and this 6 year old started doing her “shake that money maker” dance. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. But that was not the best part of it the best part of it was when she reached back with one hand and slapped her behind. And shouted “yeah!!”. OH MY GOODNESS where did she learn that? Her mother and I had a very long conversation after dance night was over.

My nine year old son was a bit of pooper. At first he was really into it. I was teaching him the “Hitch’s” 6 inches/90 degree rule of the “cool dance“. He was having none of that, he jumped around, then started to throw himself on the floor. After a while he ended up hurting his back when he tried to do what we used to call a suicide. He did a couple more moves to show us that he could but most of it was cart wheels and even a back bend. Mom showed him how to do that.

After watching him for a few minutes I started to think he’s clearly trying to break dance. And I know something about that. So I got down on the floor to show him the moves of a young L.A. breaker, head spinning, back spinning, helicopter doing, Zane. I put on hand on the ground for support and then got down to do my move. To find that my body not only didn’t remember what to do, it out right refused to do it. I found myself on my back working hard to get back up again. When I got back up I thought it best to stick to the robot. No more "getting down".

My wife enjoyed herself as well. We dance for two hours. Finally, kids pooped and parents too tired to do anything else. We put in "National Treasure" as our evening ender. When it was over the kids headed for bed, they slept a nice 10 hours solid. I loved it.

Zane Thor

I enjoy talking to old friends. In the last month I have made an effort to talk to several “old friends”. People, who for some reason or another, I have not talked to in a while. This week was a young lady from high school how was a very good friend to me. She sent me letters the entire time I served in the Utah Provo Mission. During or relationship we were never “romantic” just friends.

I like to talk to people to hear how their lives have changed since we talked last. See who they have become. I always hope during those conversations that I hear people who are living lives that fulfill them. That make them happy. One thing you find though is the relationship requires your effort again. People are not normally ready to open up to you like they did when you spent significant time together. I want to know how people are really doing . I don’t want them t tell me “I’m fine” they way they tell strangers on the elevator they’re fine. But, What was I really expecting? “I have cancer, I’m join to die.” Or even “My wife has been cheating on me with my best friend.” All of these statements you tell to those that you have a strong relationship with. As I really don’t have any strong current relationship I hope that I can work on building those again. Even with those that I haven’t spoken to in a while.

Zane Thor

I love to watch movies at the theatre or even on dvd. This weekend I picked up Son's of Provo and "Saints and Soldiers". I picked up Sons because of a cd I have had for almost a year. I really enjoyed listening to the music and laughing out loud at the crazy lyrics and even the spoof of other artist. IE MEM Snoop dog in their styles.

So Saturday I went out to the video store and picked up "Sons of Provo". Thinking if they made these great songs perhaps they could do a great movie. I guess doing both is very difficult. Because the movie was funny at times but just wasn't as funny as it could have been. I think they should have focused on how they were able to write the songs that would have been funnier. Consider Will the egotistical guy entering into a new ward meeting a “nice girl” Trying hard to tell her he was not interested. After several attempts that seem to fail miserable. Scenes like having a picnic on temple grounds, or her invitation to meet her very excited parents. Will is faced with the only option he believes will work a song. After trying one last time he finally tells her I have written you a song. With guitar in hand he sings this great romantic song that says he doesn’t see anything but a friend. What makes it even funnier is she doesn’t hear the song for what it is, she know only that this guy wrote her a song. Oh My goodness that would be hilarious. Any way other then thinking how I could have made it funnier I didn’t think it was that funny. However you should pick up the sound track the songs are done well and are very funny.

I also watched “Saints and Soldiers”. A World War II movie about 5 soldiers caught behind enemy lines. I thought this movie was great. It’s everything you think a movie should be. It had action and the story was excellent. By mid film you understand the character enough to care what happens to them. The actors did an excellent job drawing you into each character. The cinematography was great, everything screamed authentic. I also like the relationship between each character. You start to understand why each person is where they are, how they got there. By the end of the film your hoping for each person to make it home. It shows the cruelty of war. The finality of death even the caring of those whose would not be dragged down into a pit by the dogs of war. Like I said I really liked the movie. If you can check it out.

Every two weeks Amelia and I go out on a date. Last time we got a babysitter and went put put golf. The put put golf place we went to is on the east side of town but it's a lot better then Knights. It's clean and looks fairly well kept. It was a fun night.

Last night on date night we went to see "just like heaven". It's the new Reese Witherspoon and Mark Rullafo movie. I walked in the movie expecting a funny comedy. What I didn't expect was a romatic comedy. Although these are not the types of movies I perfer, I went with "the wife" as a show of my undying dedication making her happy. :) The movie was a very good date night movie.

I've always thought that Witherspoon was waisting her talent on movies like "Leagal Blond". Her roll in "Sweet Home Alabama" showed more depth. In "Just Like Heaven" she is able to play a serious charcter with flaws. She spends all of her time at the job so dedicated to the work. Her lack personal life becomes a character of it's own. You see who she is not as a success at work but as a failure at home. It takes a serouis change or a major life event to show them her how fragile friendships truly are. I thought the writters gave Witherspoon lots to work with in this area and she rose to the task.

Rullafo plays a great trotured soul in the movie. His ability to convince us of his sadness was ok but his ability to be shy at times and withdrawn helps drawn you in. You want to understand why he's suffering so. But it's the neurotic side of the charcter that makes him both fun and loveable. All and All this is a must see movie. So guys, if your down a few points in the relationship game, take your girl friend or wife. You'll come out of the movie a few points ahead. Girls drag you boyfriends/husbands to this great funny movie. If he's someone that cares about you, you'll see the sweeter side of them come out. :)

Some of my earliest memories have to do with music. My dad loved to sing and to play his guitar. He thought of himself as a one of the four tenors. Church was his Carnegie Hall, he and another guy in the congregation would sing as loud as they could. It was a bit of a competition they would try to drown each other out. I spent years of my life wishing dad would stop doing that.

Now, My kids wish I would stop doing it. I have no competition in my ward. I have the voice like a trumpet when I want to be heard there nothing any one can do to stop me. When I know a song. I sing it with all my heart. By the end of the song everyone knows I loved singing it. And I only feel slightly sorry for those that gained that knowledge from the row in front of me.

I’m don’t consider myself a great singer, but I can hold my own. On occasions someone will ask me to join a choir of some kind. I’ve always been reluctant to do so. It always take up so much time and energy. Choir is one of those things everyone thinks that they can do but few actually can. Also I can be shy, I have no formal training and have difficulties sight reading music. A couple of weeks ago I told a guy in my ward that I would join his choir for a Christmas program.

Sunday was our first practice. It’s funny you fight something for so long because of laziness or feeling awkward. When you start doing it you’re reminded of how much you love it. We sat for half an hour waiting as the choir director shifted through the first practice chaos. I was starting to get antsy. I wanted to sing. I wanted to unleash my voice upon the world.

Tired of waiting and wanting to get some singing in before we went home I asked the bases in my row to sing “Called to Serve” It was just me and another guy at first. But only after a couple of lines, then the entire choir was singing the song. Everyone, it was great the choir director suddenly noticed there was choir there that wanted to sing. So she came over and got us warmed up. The rest of the practice reminded me why I love singing in the choir. At the end of the practice the choir director told us we needed to make it to every practice. It’s funny, when I started I wasn’t sure how committed I would be to the choir. But after singing a few songs with them. I don’t see how they could keep me away.

ps. Rocket car had problems we are working with the engineers to see if we can't correct the problem and get some pics on line.

Zane Thor

I like to write stories.. Here's one about me and my wife and our parents.

When I first got married, my wife and I decided that we would split holidays. Thanksgiving would be spent with one set of parents and Christmas would be spent with the other set. This was before we had children, as the holidays were approaching, my wife and her mother was having a disagreement. It was very bitter, so much so that my wife dragged me into it. I can't remember the extent of the argument but I called her mother and told her she needed to get herself together and I would not be having this any more. She sputtered something about calling me back and that she couldn't talk about it now could we discuss this later. Fine, I hung up the phone.

I thought about it and I was sure she was not going to call me back. I felt so right in my indignation. There was no way I could be wrong. I was not going to stand for this type of behavior from adults, even those adults who were now in my family. These people needed to learn how we did things.

A couple of days later my wife came to me. "Zane, are we still going to my mom's for thanksgiving."

I nearly laughed at her. "Has your mom called to tell us how sorry she is for the way she's been talking about us?"
"No."

"Then I guess the answer to your question is the same as the answer to my question" I said it with an air of self-righteousness.

"Zane, this is my parents were talking about. They are expecting us for Thanksgiving. What will they think if we don't go?" she said starting to get angry.

"I guess they'll think something is wrong. Which by the way, is exactly what the problems is", my frustration was matching her.

"Zane, please reconsider, I really want to go home for thanksgiving."

"Hey, if you want to go, then go. Nobody's is stopping you. But I am not going so we can act like everything is honky dory".

"Fine, I'll go."

"If you go, you go without me."

"Well I guess that's just how it'll be."

"Remember, if they ask you "is something wrong" you might want to clue them in by yelling, "You're getting hotter."" I said with sarcasm seeping through.

"Thanks... Thanks a lot"

She left the room, I stood there feeling triumphant. Yeah I could have been nicer but really you can't expect me to be this nice.

On Wednesdays the day before Thanksgiving, I went to her and asked, "So, what's the plan". We hadn't been talking for most of the week, and I was trying one last ditch effort to get her to see things my way.

"I'm working on this crossword, that's the plan for now." She knew I came to sway her to my way of thinking. And this introduction was like watching the first round of boxing. Each boxer sizing up the other with a few jabs, both protecting what was precious to them. But at the same time trying desperately to push and advantage.

"I don't mean now, I mean tomorrow" I said covering up a bit.

"Well, my guess is, you're not going, and I am going. So, you'll be hungry and I'll be full. That's the plan". Her jab was direct and hit me square in the jaw.

"It doesn't have to be that way" I moved back trying to get my balance.

"Yeah, that's true you can come with me and we'll both be full." She moved in and struck again the left connecting with the jaw. I was staggered by this shot and this was only the first round.

"Let's not fight" I was against the ropes I needed her to calm down before I could mount any type of assault.

"We're not fighting" she said as she got up, closed her crossword book, and walked out of the room. It was the classic one two. She struck with a dazzling right cross and then nailed me again as I was going down with a brilliant left hook. I was out cold standing in an empty room.

I didn't want her to go alone. I didn't think she was strong enough to face that on her own. Boy was I wrong and she was showing me how wrong I was. It was late about 11:30 the night before Thanksgiving. I sat looking at our apartment wall. My anger and my shame mounting, someone must understand what I'm going through. There must be someone who can see as I do.

My parents had called earlier in the week trying to get me to come to mom's for thanksgiving. I told them I wasn't so they shouldn't plan on me. But now with no where to go for Thanksgiving and the prospect of being hungry on turkey day I needed a back up plan. I got up and drove the 20 mins to my parents. I wanted to let them know I was coming and to commiserate with my dad for a few minutes.

When I got home it looked as if everyone was sleeping. I entered the house quietly and went to my parent's room. They were sleeping with the door wide open. I walked into their room and shook my dad awake. Even as an old man he had reflexes that shocked me. He grabbed my wrist, pulled me close to his face. He then opened his eyes and looked me squarely in the face and said "Wa?" In a groggy tone of someone who had been a sleep for a while.

"Dad, dad, it's me, let go." My hand had lost all circulations to it and was starting to get tingly.
"What, what happen?" He was still trying to bring himself back into the world of the walking.
"Dad, my hand, let me go!" I said it quietly but with enough urgency he understood that he held his son not some un-seen assailant. Mom stirred under the covers, so dad laid a reassuring hand on her arm and she returned to her much needed sleep.

I walked out, now that I knew dad was awake. It only took a minute to find his laval-laval. He came into the living-room where I sat waiting for him.

"What happened?" he asked

I gave him the short version. He looked at me as if to say, see I told you. Then spent the next twenty minutes reminding me that I had not listened to him about marring a palangi girl, and this is the type of stuff I could expect. As he continued on his rant I thought, yep, I was wrong, but she should have done as I told her. Clearly, any good Samoan women would have done as I had asked. After listening to my dad, I was not going to back down. There was just no way.
The next morning Amelia was gone before I woke up. I staggered to the shower after my long night with dad and got dressed. I drove back to my parents house it was noon and as I had expected, there was already a crowd. Family had gathered there with intent of feasting Samoan style. We ate and laughed, ate and slept and then ate some more. I had a couple of questions about where my wife was. Everyone that asked had a look like they knew it wasn't roses in paradise, but I could handle it. It was a great feast. My mom went all out. Her sister came in like a relief pitcher with more food. It was the way I remember turkey day being since I was a kid. I truly enjoyed myself. On occasion I found myself looking out the window longingly wondering where my wife was. But it was only brief moments that stole a glimpse into my otherwise happy day.

At the end of the day I sat with my mother. It was just the two of us. Sitting in the dining room together. Dad was watching the game in the living room and everyone else had someplace they had to be. So I sat with my mother and she had some questions.
"Zane," she said, "where's your wife?"

At first I thought this was a type of joke. She knew where Amelia was, she had heard me all day long tell everyone that she was at her moms. But her tone seemed to be saying soberness was required here. "She's at her mom's"

"Zane," she spoke again as if I hadn't answered, "Where's your wife?"

"Mom," I said it this time as if perhaps my mother was losing her hearing "She's at her MOM's".

"ZANE," I was expecting her to yell this time but as she spoke the second part of her questions her voice got quiet and almost whispered "and where are you".

I was confused. What kind of questions was this? I'm sitting here with YOU in YOU'RE dining room. I looked at her like she was crazy and my body language said "Hello?" but my lips remained silent.

"Dad told me about the talk you had last night. He told me that your wife and her mother had a fight. So I ask you again where are you and where is your wife?"

I wanted to yell I'm here answering these silly questions. And Amelia's having dinner with her crazy mom. But I had learned years ago not to answer, to sit until she revealed what she wanted me to understand.

"You sent your wife into the lions den without any support. You knew your wife would be struggling with her mother. You knew that her mother would only use the fact that you’re not their as a weapon against her and yet here you are."

"No mom, you're getting this all wrong" my temper that I inherited from my mother started to flare. "You don't understand, she's wrong. She should have listened to me. I'm right, we can't keep pretending that everything's ok. Her mother needs to see she can't treat us like this." But as I said it, it became clear. I was sitting in this dinning room not for my wife's benefit but for my own selfish reason. Pride had brought me to this place, pride had blinded me to what should have been so obvious. My wife had needed my help either to not go or for me to go with her as a show of my love for her.

As if she could read my mind my mother looked at me and said, "Yeah, even you see the coward you have been. Your fight is over, you lost. Don't come to my house to hide from your responsibility as a husband." She stood from the dinner table and walked to sit near my father.
I watched as this stout older woman walked away from me. My heart that had been light all day long was now down in the depths of sorrow. I had lost this fight. But I would not forget it. In these questions mom had taught me to stop thinking of myself, to start thinking about my wife. This woman who reluctantly okayed my marriage was now helping me maintain it. I got in my car after our conversation. My mind stuck on what my mother had told me.

When I got home Amelia was there already there. She was going about her every day business as if nothing had happened. For a while I watched her walked around the apartment taking care of this and that. Getting ready for bed I thought how I loved this girl. She had this sexy red hair that fell down her back. Her face had this innocence that I loved. I could spend the rest of my life watching her. My heart broke again this argument had caused us to go opposite directions today.

As she walked past me I grabbed her hand. She stopped and looked at me I drew her close to me. I held her body close to mine and breathed in the scent of her. I whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry”. She hugged me tightly and with a whisper, “me too”. We spent a couple of hours talking that night. I told her I didn’t want to spend anymore holidays apart. She told me she agreed. In that humble apartment we agreed that we had a family that was more important then our separate families. In that apartment we became truly man and wife.

Yesterday I was looking at a couple of post about religion on a forum I enjoy reading. (OCS/hatrack.com). People were talking about the nature of god. At first it started off Weather god was omnipotent. A couple of people were saying of course he is. Then some said no he is only as powerful as he is willing to obey the rules. Quoting scripture ”Now the work of justice could not be destroyed: if so God would cease to be God.” so the questions still remains are we talking about an omnipotent being or not?

Now here’s where I start having questions. First off we all know that God is Omnipotent. But more importantly how does knowing this get us closer to him? I mean think about it, does knowing that, "God knows all" help me deal with my wife and her attitude today? Does it help me deal with the people at work who are dealing with thier own major problems in life? Does it help me talk to my children with kindness and with an eye that recognizes their eternal possibility?

The answer to that questions is NO. It doesn’t. What helps me get through the things I mentioned are scriptures that say, “take heed to yourselves: if thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him: and if he repent forgive him.” Luke 17:3 or in Matthew 22:36-39 when the Pharisees ask lord what is the greatest commandment. And Jesus answered him with “love the lord they god with all of your heart might mind and strength. The second it like unto it. Love they neighbor as thy self.”

It’s these things that teach me how to act. Although I still don’t know the nature of god. What I do know is the nature of man as it correlates to God. Be nice to each other, Of all things that’s what is most important. You must love God and love each other its critical to our succes and happiness. If we can learn these things perhaps there is more in store for us to learn but until then let’s keep working on the basics.

Let's not break our backs rolling the big stones. There are so many small stones that help us achieve a greater sense of success within ourselves.

Zane Thor

Today I spent most of the day with my dear wife and my youngest daughter. We were out and about doing a bit of shopping and just hanging out. We stopped at the local market to pick up a few things. It was then that I thought about the "No Holds Barred" pinewood derby.

Every year fathers with children in the pinewood derby often think what would I do if I could build a derby car without any restrictions. Thoughts often move us into some wild thinking; cars that weigh 5 bls, narrow wheels, electric motors, CO2 tanks. But the one that has been the holy grail of this type of thinking has always been the Rocket Propelled. I shaped the car, cut a hole to hold the engine, picked up 4 single stage engines, the only thing left is to test it. Today we will launch what I'm sure will be an injury inducing car.

My wife and the kids made cookies for the families I home teach. So we'll deliever those and off to test the rocket car. Pictures of said rocket car will be posted in a few.

Zane

Today I stood in a bread line as a volunteer watching as people came in for a meal. I sat watching each person trying to understand why people where in this particular situation. It’s curious watching able body people getting a hand out. You start to wonder is this a self inflicted wound that they are unable to pull themselves from. Surely with an unemployment rate of less then 5% it seems that getting a job would be simple. Yet here they are standing in a line waiting to be served what will be for some their only meal of the day.

Although the place was bright and well lit it seemed to be dark. Dark in spirit people hung their heads weary of what the day had brought. The well lit cafeteria had a deafening silence that seemed to fill the room. People spoke but only in whispers as if by some unwritten agreement this was not a place for jovial activity. sporadically someone with a loud voice would enter and say hello to their fellows with a smile. Even these people emit a bit of depression to me. They seemed to be happy with their lot in life, as if the person with the capacity to be a king would find a hand out OK to them. I was confronted with that idea, whom should I greave, the ones whom came because they knew this was the only place they could eat? Or the ones whom seem to relinquish their lives to this fate.

On occasions some happy and excited individual would come in calling out names to those he knew. They waived in return and gave a polite smile. Their was a bright spot a lady full of life in a wheel chair offered a prayer over the food and it’s “bounty”. I found that word in the this situation to be bleak or even mocking.

It struck me that in this dismal place their was a sense of community. People knew each other, they knew who they were and what their situation was. They knew which of them would be open to discussion and which needed their isolation. Even among them their seemed to be a “bully” someone whom gave counsel when none was requested, whom poked fun at others, picked on children teasingly as parents watched. He even seemed to break that silence that occupied the place before he arrived not with happiness but with a arrogance that said: “I’ll do what I want when I want“.

As things where closing down a family came in. A father a mother and several children. The father’s normally tall body was slouched his head hung staring at the floor. The mother looked as if this was not something she was used to. She held her year old daughter close to her as if afraid that someone would steal that beautiful child from her arms. Another daughter, seven or eight, stood close as they received their food looking wide eyed at those around her. Their son slightly older smiled a big smile as he received his brownie. They took their plates to a table and sat and ate. The mother with her youngest in her lap and the father not looking at anyone. Children quietly enjoying what may have been their only meal for the day. It was this scene that chilled my bones. As if watching Exorcist for the first time, the fear came from deep within me and seemed to swallow me. My urge was to run from the building crying as a child. I stood with that picture in my mind, not the picture of those actually sitting their but of me and my family seated at that table. My wife clinging to our youngest eating everything on the plate with hunger born of not having a meal for 24 hours, of not know where the next plate of food would come from.

I’ve always considered myself a independent person. I know my family would take me in with open arms. I know that there is always a place for me and my family. But still it’s the hope and desire to be more then what I currently am. It possible for us to be greater tomorrow then we are today if we continually to push our limits.

I like to read the review column of Orson Scott Card. This week he reviewed a couple of movies "Four Brother" and "Must love Dogs". I really like Scott because he says thing I believe. This weeks a bit different in that he was talking about sex. How no one in the movie had thought it a problem to be sleeping with people they are not married to. Then he goes on to say it's more normal for this people to be married having sex then not married having sex.

I found this to be completely incorrect. I mean what he really should be saying is although we know people are having sex out of wedlock, we don't see that behavior as appropriate. We see this promiscuity as one of the knifes that slices through the fabric of our society. What's worse is people either don’t see it or are to busy having sex to care.

I've heard the arguments. Women were treated poorly, children were beaten, husbands ruled houses with an iron fist. Well here's my question, did any of that stop because people stopped getting married before sex? Is life any better now that 50% of marriages end in divorce? If your saying YES lots of things changed, then I would direct you to the next showing of "cops" on your television. Only a few short stories into it and we see the continued dysfunction of our sexual and psychological appetites shown specifically for our entertainment purposes. I’ll also remind you of the continued youth violence that began to plague our country side when in the 60’s marriage was devalued. Have things changed, well yes, but we paid a mighty high price for the those changes. and I for one would like to have my money back.